Blue skies

I opened my eyes to kiss my husband ‘great day’ at about five. The next time I would open them, it is ten!!! I woke up at ten o clock!!! I had no idea I was that exhausted.

Here I am, lying in bed, all alone, feeling completely deflated. I can’t explain why I am so blue this morning. Maybe electricity can help.” PHCN do your good deed for the day please”. The silly people gave us light for a day because they were aware that they would be coming around to disconnect offenders. I bet they felt brilliant, thinking that would make people eager to reconnect. Well I’m shouting from the rooftops, “I don’t need you PHCN, I got two generators” one finger in the air.

I have no desire for food or drink. I am just in that place. That place that I dread so much. That place where the questions begin to bubble and froth. “Are you sure you didn’t make a huge mistake? Maybe you would have been better off doing this. What are you going to do now? So how do you like feeling worthless? How are you gonna come down from the clothes line”? I am shaking my head but that’s not helping.
I am not angry so my breaking glass therapy won’t work.

Today I shall resign myself to being a child again. I trust that would help. I’ve got a hundred naira note and some twenties. A child would go and get credit and candy with that. That is exactly what I’ll do. Let’s see if it works. Ciao

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